The following is a letter that I wrote to Solomon about a week before he was born. I tucked it away and came across it the other day. After celebrating his first year of life, I think it is fitting to post it now. 

Dear Solomon,

You will be here soon and there are many things that I want to make sure you know, and I don’t want to get caught up with the silly things and ignore what is really important.

The first thing I want you to know about is your name. Solomon was a good king who honored God. He was selfless and thought of others before himself. God granted him wisdom, and continued the succession that led to  Christ. We want you to remember that as you carry that name.  But there is another, much deeper reason why we have decided to call you Solomon.

You have an older brother, Joshua Jr.  He was called to leave this earth before he took a breath. God used him in mighty ways and the Lord was gloried through his very short life. At his funeral, your dad read a passage from the bible, and we put that same verse on his tombstone:

But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again?

I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” 2^nd Samuel 12:23

King David said that to his servants after his infant son died. He praised God in the death, and knew that we serve a God whose ways are good. Your dad and I were sad when your brother died, but we also knew that God had a plan. We didn’t know that part of that plan would be you. We were very surprised when we found out you were coming and even more surprised when we found out you would be a boy. Once again, God led us back to His word.  Just like in King David’s life, God brought us joy in the midst of sorrow. The very next verse in that passage shows that after David honored God in the death of his son, God blessed him with another son.

Then David comforted his wife, Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her, and she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon. And the LORD loved him 2^nd Samuel 12:24

You were bestowed a strong name with a lot of meaning, carry that with you and know that even your life is ordained. We couldn’t have had you without losing your brother.  Even when things don’t make sense, always know that we serve a perfect God and His ways are good. You are living proof that God's plans never end in heartache!

Probably the hardest thing that I pray for you is that you grow to be a mighty man of God. The reason it is so hard is that I know what that will mean. That means that your life will probably be harder than those around you. You will face trials and hardships that will make you broken and hurt. And as your mother it will hurt me to not protect you from that. One thing that I have learned is that an easy life does nothing for us. Trials are hard, but that is what leads us to cling to God. In those trials we get the best blessings and learn the greatest joys. Each struggle you have will make you a bit stronger, and I pray that God uses each and every instance that he places in your path as a means to draw you to Himself.

I would say that I am sorry you don’t have a big brother to watch out for you through this earthly life, but I am not sorry for that. You have been chosen to carry that role in our family and be the big brother to your future siblings. One day, at the glorious Resurrection, we will bow before a Holy God with a perfect plan and understand it all. Until then, my son, continue to endure. It will be worth it. We are promised that.  

Lastly, and this is the most important thing that I want you to know. Knowing God is all that matters. As your mother I don’t care what you accomplish for this world. I don’t care what possessions you acquire. None of it matters, absolutely none of it. Please don’t get caught up in this world, because it will be over too soon. You dad and I pray every day that God draw you to Himself and save your soul. We pray that more than we pray for your health or physical well-being, and even then we pray that for His glory and not our own. God means more than anything, more than family, more than education, jobs, or money. Knowing Him is all that matters.

Christ took on the punishment we should have when he came to this earth to save us. Even you in my womb will be born in sin. None of us are worthy, but we serve a Holy Savior. Being a child of Him is all that matters.

I pray that I honor God while bringing you up, and it is only by His grace that I do so. I love you so much and am so thankful to be able to witness the life that God has set before you.

Love,

Mama

Back on the Blogging Wagon

I have decided that I am horrible at blogging. Horrible.

I think I have commitment issues. My thirties are going to be my project of follow through. 

Yep, I turned 30.  So far I love it. I feel grown up with still a touch of young, so I am digging that combination. Does anyone remember the song by Deana Carter, “Strawberry Wine?” Well there’s a line in it that goes, “I still remember, when 30 was old….” I was 12 when that song came out, and I remember thinking that 30 was old! YIKES! 

Speaking of which, my father’s 50^th birthday came and went. It was uneventful but really made me reflect. I guess motherhood does that. I was 12 the year my father passed away. He was 32 when he died, and I remember everyone around me exclaiming how young he was. At the time I couldn’t grasp it, but now that I am only 2 years younger than he was when he passed, I am shocked at how young he was.  I am thankful in some ways that I went through something so colossal so young. It really opened my eyes. What followed were some immensely painful years, but looking back, it tethered me to Christ. Up until that point I had no real faith, and that was a huge stepping stone that fixed my path. I wouldn’t take it back.  My eyes were opened to my heavenly father in losing my earthly father.

In other news, Solomon is turning 1! People are asking how I feel and if I am sad. The answer is no, not really. That sounds a little weird to say. God has blessed us with this little person and it amazes me every day how awesome this kid is.  Don’t get me wrong, the baby stage was a blast, but he is so much fun now. He is doing something new everyday, and it is a blessing to watch him learn about the world.While I was pregnant, our prayer was that God would grow Solomon to be a mighty man of God that honors him. Our prayer is still that for him, and God is honoring that prayer every day. Turning 1 is a reminder of how much God has blessed us. Solomon isn’t mine, I know that he is God's, but I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be his mom while on this life. 

Well, yay, I have finished an entry! I am applauding myself right now, and I have a little man who has just woken up and really needs to snuggle. I am taking advantage of these moments while I have them!

365 Days

No I have not fallen off of the face of the earth.


To say the least, things have changed. We were thrown a curve ball.  A big one.


This happened.....

Yep.

About a week after my last post I was shocked to find out that I was pregnant. God led me through one of the scariest but blessed journeys getting this little guy here. My family is proof that God has a plan in all things. We received the devastating news that we lost our precious Joshua Jr. on October 20th, 2011 and 365 days later, on October 19th, 2012 we were blessed with Solomon Hosea!

There were many times that my faith faltered, and we had our share of bumps in the road, but this picture is proof that God is faithful.

I will post much more to follow on the many ways that God has moved in my life, although I am so undeserving of it.

Thank you all who have followed these posts. The countless messages I have received as well as the words of encouragement and prayers mean more than you will ever know. I am one blessed lady!!

Glorious Day

I am taking a break to write something that has been on my mind lately. In situations like mine, people tend to focus on the sadness. No doubt, my husband and I are in a sad situation, but like I have said before, there is good.

I have some amazing friends; God has used them to minister to my family in mighty ways. I thank God for them. One night recently a group of us were together. During our fellowship, we had a time of prayer. Many of our friends have small children, and most of them prayed that one day God would lead their children to Him, and save their souls. Their prayers were heartfelt, honest, and real. Their hearts were understandably heavy with the love of their children, and the desire for their security.

Tears welled up, but not for the reason you might think. I was completely overcome with relief. That is one prayer that I will never have to pray, at least not for Josh Jr.

When I was pregnant, we prayed nightly, and Josh’s prayer was always,

“God we pray that you bring our child to term, and ultimately save his or her soul.”  

God fulfilled that prayer. I was full term when we lost little Josh, and 2^nd Samuel 12:23 says it best, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” If it is in God’s will for us to have more children, I will undoubtedly join my dear friends in prayers for my children, submitting to the faultless will of the perfect God, whom has sustained me.

 I take great comfort in looking to the Resurrection, when Christ returns in full glory, seeking His bride. I rejoice in seeing my son there, but my heart longs for Christ, and an eternity worshipping Him. This loss here on earth, is preparing me for that glorious day, when I will be in the presence of my Savior. A time when this loss won't even compare to the glory to come. Soli Deo Gloria

Carrying Their Crosses

I had something else in mind when I sat down to write this. I had a meticulous plan to do a series of articles on people who have faced trials and shown the glory of God by doing so. They were going to be very well written and plotted out, but that has been thrown out. You will read on to find a barely edited, almost stream of conscience window to my thoughts. It just seemed right, so please read this post with grace.

Nancy Guthrie had to be the first in this series. She is a truly gifted writer and has faced the death of two of her children. If you as anyone of my friends, they will tell you she is my home girl. She is one of the best examples of obedience in suffering that I have ever seen.

 After we lost little Josh, people came from near and far to give me books and literature to read. I received Holding on to Hope, from one of my mother’s coworkers, whom I haven’t spoken with since my wedding in 2008. It is by providence that this one caught my eye. I read the book cover to cover in two days.

If I explain the book in detail, I may never finish, and I don’t want my poor writing skills to discredit her God given gift in any way, but I will tell you this; God used her to reveal things to me that have made this suffering worthwhile.

God calls us to suffering. He allowed for her two children to pass away, just as He allowed for my little Josh to never take a breath. He did this for His glory. We give Satan too much power in our lives. Satan did not do this to us, God allowed it to happen, and there has been so much good to come from it. There are days that I still want to curl up in a hole, but I am where God has ordained for me to be, and He used my son to do mighty things for His kingdom.

I can accept what God has for me with open arms because of the Christ’s death on the cross. God is still good. On the day my son died, God was still good. He is merciful and gracious, and blessed me more than I will ever deserve.

If any of you are going through a trial, even if it doesn’t involve death, I would recommend any of Nancy Guthrie’s writings. I have read most of them and if you would like any specific recommendations please let me know and I will be happy to do so.

The title of this blog is Count it all joy… for a reason. We are to accept any trial with joy, because through them we are becoming more like Christ. Thank you Nancy Guthrie, for your obedience, God has used you to grow His kingdom in a mighty way!

Count it all joy...: Happy New Year!!

Count it all joy...: Happy New Year!!: 2011 was a year full of blessings for our family. Some of those blessings were received with gladness, others were received with tears. I pr...

Happy New Year!!

2011 was a year full of blessings for our family. Some of those blessings were received with gladness, others were received with tears. I praise God for His sovereignty and look to the next year with a heart full of joy! 
I am currently working on a series titled, "Carrying Their Crosses." This will be focused on people who have glorified God and His perfect plan through their suffering. The first installment will be posted soon. 
I want to thank each and every one of you for your support through reading since this has been posted in October, the response has been more than I could have ever expected.


Soli Deo Gloria


--Halley